Your tags as well!! As you said, apart from Daisy, it never felt as if Jon’s trauma was ever allowed to be fully expressed, and it was always secondary to something, and as you were saying in your tags, it’s not just a matter of the /characters/ doing it (though, yeah, that kind of hurt, especially coming from, say, the main romantic interest and second protagonist of the story) but also the fact that the creators seemed to think so as well. That Jon’s trauma, while real, was… secondary to the fact He Was a Monster now.
Jon was made of guilt over what he had become, and while I fully acknowledge he did some bad stuff, especially in season 4, he also actively /chose to do better/ and if other characters couldn’t do the “good job jon” (because yes, yes, they’re not /obliged to/, etc.) then… someone else could have, I don’t know. It feels like maybe only Helen acknowledged later on that Jon was still resisting the urge to give in fully.
I feel it’s also a problem maybe of like… In the head of the creators, Jon was to Become a Monster, so he had to be seen more and more as a monster, except the characters said so, but all we had was…. Jon. Again, the most monstrous he was, to me, was when we learnt what he’d done to innocent people in season 4. Beyond that point… He had terrible powers he tried not to enjoy even when the whole world was remade to bring him pure happiness from others’ suffering /constantly/.
Someone just hugging him and telling him he’d tried his best Once would just have been. A nice acknowledgment. Instead of everybody deciding Jon was doomed to become the Monster he was trying so hard not to be (or, in Martin’s case I think, not realizing/listening to Jon telling him how hard the struggle was and then throwing it back to his face later on)